I relate to so much of this. I think that especially as smart, high achieving women we get so used to feed off external validation and feedback. More school is so tempting. But sometimes we just need friends and partners to help us clarify what we already know. I am so glad that you found that in your writing group!
And because you so graciously offered - I completed the first draft of my manuscript and after letting it sit for a while, I am now starting to revise. I would be curious if there is anybody in your community that would be willing to share thoughts/resources over email or Zoom on how they approached revisions. It feels quite intimidating for me right now.
This is SO TRUE. I hadn't thought about it in these terms, but you're right. In my MFA-longing days, I was looking for a way to FEEL productive without actually BEING productive. Getting all that delicious validation.
It is historical fiction set in 1970s Communist Bulgaria. It is inspired by the life of Lyudmila Zhivkova whose father ran Bulgaria for many years up until the fall of communism. I love strong female characters who step out of line. 😎
I like those kinds of characters, too. In response to your original question, I got all weird on myself when I finished my first draft. (Even googling “how to know if what you have is really a first draft.”) BUT/AND a resource that helped me face it was Tiffany Yate’s Martin’s book Intuitive Editing. She gives a step-by-step process of how she (she’s a dev editor) suggests you approach the first read, the first edit, and so on. She saved me from reading YET ANOTHER craft book instead of, um,.. working on my craft. I didn’t follow all her steps, but she got me going in a way I appreciated. If you don’t want to wait for the book, she has some free guides she posts on her site you can download: Fox Print Editorial.
Man oh man, do I relate! I've published a poetry chapbook, and in the fall I will publish my debut novel, and yet. . . I feel, very keenly, my lack of an MFA. Even though I've taken a ton of (really good!) workshops, and I even recently applied for and got a residency. I think I still feel, deep down, that the time I spend writing is time "wasted" or an indulgence, but if I had the external structure and validation of an MFA program, I could justify writing: "it's homework, it's class work, I HAVE to do it!" Petya is absolutely right about the allure of external validation...
Kristen, congratulations on your debut! That is wonderful and so exciting! What can you share about your book?
Isn't it just so strange that MFA candidates enter a program so that they have a chance at what you have already accomplished and yet, you wish for an MFA?! One of my favorite meditation teachers says that happiness is an inside job and I feel like that applies to so many things... writing life included.
"MFA candidates enter a program so that they have a chance at what you have already accomplished".... um, yes. This is such an important point. Thank you, Petya!
My book's not out until November, but it's called Ordinary Devotion. It's about a medieval girl enclosed with an anchoress, and the modern-day scholar discovering/researching them...I may have to print out "MFA candidates enter a program so that they have a chance at what you have already accomplished" and hang it over my desk, thank you for this!
Congratulations, Kristen! I don’t know you but promise I like you just as much with or without an MFA. Tara Mohr is an author (I want to call her a hidden gem guru, but I don’t think she’d identify as being a guru) writes that women - more than men - frequently think we need “one more thing” or to do “this before that” before we get down to the business of owning our brilliance (I’ve paraphrased and added hyperbole). I think she’s on to something. (Her book is Playing Big, if you’re interested). She also writes a lot about how often it’s not that it’s not always “insiders” who provide a breakthrough contribution to a field. Bringing another perspective than most people can be a good thing. Huge congrats on your forthcoming releases and the residency! 💛
Kelly this is such a sweet and encouraging thing to say (well, write)--thank you! I totally agree about the female tendency to put everything/everyone else first before one's own little old creative dreams and desires. Thank you again, and I am going to look up that Mohr book!
I applied to the one residency MFA program I knew was right for me (I know, that sounds arrogant, but this was local and at this stage in life I'm not going to move cross country, and I can't afford the lo-res programs). Wow, did I have a kick ass application, with recommendation letters from published authors (one of whom is also a renowned writing teacher) and samples of work that had already won prizes. I didn't get in. Now I think that was one of those itchy, scratchy lessons-in-disguise the Universe salts into life. I was looking for a refuge, a retreat, and a pipeline of validation rather than a way forward. Anyway, it wasn't long after I'd been rejected by the MFA program and had picked myself up and resolved to move ahead that I got my contract with a dream publisher. So your piece is both encouraging and fortifying. Tough but gentle love. And may the answers you get regarding your son be the ones that you and he want to hear.
I relate to this every word is like a sponge I'm wringing out as I read. I am in the middle of revisions, and like you, am seeing many things that don't work and cut, cut, cut. Revisions are so hard, but your words are for all of us in this trenches. I send words of healing and comfort to your son and your family. Healthcare can bring us to our knees, we leave this world and enter into another. Keep sending these posts, honestly, I see a book for you to offer these uplifting words. Blessings.
I hope everything ends up okay with your son! That there's an end to the tunnel you are all in and his health improves.
I would love a writing partner. I have half a novel and have pieces of a series, and am stuck as to where I want to go with any of it. I've taken a self-paced novel-writing course and have the outline of an outline to plop ideas into, and participate in NaNoWriMo religiously, but my imagination and spirit of adventure in playing with plot twists, etc. has suffered a bit. So if a writing partner is game to work with me, that may be the ticket to making headway...with some accountability.
For me this is definitely an area that's been lacking -- needing "writing partners" who aren't my friends in real life that like to read or sometimes write things. My friends "get it," but they also *don't* get it.
I spent a week with new-to-me writer friends at a residency last August and thought "huzzah! this is it!" and then it's been like pulling teeth trying to get anyone to... stay in touch, let alone share the ins and outs of the work and process with, since we all ventured back to our respective homes.
I keep looking, trusting, keeping my eyes and ears open... and doing the work (or sometimes avoiding doing the work) in the meantime.
Kristine, the writer/musician Nerissa Nields offers several workshops, as well as a co-writing sessions she calls "Morning Seeding and Tending"--it's an hour of quiet co-writing over Zoom. I've taken several of her workshops and have found ongoing writing pals through them. Her site is https://nerissanields.com/product-category/events/workshops/
Kristine, a beloved writing teacher once called the process of finding our people “ knocking on doors.” I’ve knocked on quite a few! What I’ve learned is that I’m absolutely the worst judge of who will end up being ‘my people’ in a given group.
Your mileage may vary, but I’ve really enjoyed the weekday Zoom co-writing sessions organized by Allison K Williams of Craft Talks. Fourth link under co-writing. Many of the members write memoir but I’m revising a novel. Weekdays at 11:30am. https://linktr.ee/guerillamemoir
I recently parted ways with my writing partner. Nothing happened but it was just clear that she would rather collaborate with other people and I didn’t want to have to keep asking her to read things or write. This was awesome to read. There are always more people out there and never where you might expect.
I relate to so much of this. I think that especially as smart, high achieving women we get so used to feed off external validation and feedback. More school is so tempting. But sometimes we just need friends and partners to help us clarify what we already know. I am so glad that you found that in your writing group!
And because you so graciously offered - I completed the first draft of my manuscript and after letting it sit for a while, I am now starting to revise. I would be curious if there is anybody in your community that would be willing to share thoughts/resources over email or Zoom on how they approached revisions. It feels quite intimidating for me right now.
This is SO TRUE. I hadn't thought about it in these terms, but you're right. In my MFA-longing days, I was looking for a way to FEEL productive without actually BEING productive. Getting all that delicious validation.
Congrats on the draft! What is your genre?
It is historical fiction set in 1970s Communist Bulgaria. It is inspired by the life of Lyudmila Zhivkova whose father ran Bulgaria for many years up until the fall of communism. I love strong female characters who step out of line. 😎
This sounds amazing!
I like those kinds of characters, too. In response to your original question, I got all weird on myself when I finished my first draft. (Even googling “how to know if what you have is really a first draft.”) BUT/AND a resource that helped me face it was Tiffany Yate’s Martin’s book Intuitive Editing. She gives a step-by-step process of how she (she’s a dev editor) suggests you approach the first read, the first edit, and so on. She saved me from reading YET ANOTHER craft book instead of, um,.. working on my craft. I didn’t follow all her steps, but she got me going in a way I appreciated. If you don’t want to wait for the book, she has some free guides she posts on her site you can download: Fox Print Editorial.
thank you for this! I will get a copy too!
Thank you so much for sharing! Will look into it right away because I am getting weird on myself too. 😂
Man oh man, do I relate! I've published a poetry chapbook, and in the fall I will publish my debut novel, and yet. . . I feel, very keenly, my lack of an MFA. Even though I've taken a ton of (really good!) workshops, and I even recently applied for and got a residency. I think I still feel, deep down, that the time I spend writing is time "wasted" or an indulgence, but if I had the external structure and validation of an MFA program, I could justify writing: "it's homework, it's class work, I HAVE to do it!" Petya is absolutely right about the allure of external validation...
Kristen, congratulations on your debut! That is wonderful and so exciting! What can you share about your book?
Isn't it just so strange that MFA candidates enter a program so that they have a chance at what you have already accomplished and yet, you wish for an MFA?! One of my favorite meditation teachers says that happiness is an inside job and I feel like that applies to so many things... writing life included.
"MFA candidates enter a program so that they have a chance at what you have already accomplished".... um, yes. This is such an important point. Thank you, Petya!
My book's not out until November, but it's called Ordinary Devotion. It's about a medieval girl enclosed with an anchoress, and the modern-day scholar discovering/researching them...I may have to print out "MFA candidates enter a program so that they have a chance at what you have already accomplished" and hang it over my desk, thank you for this!
Congratulations, Kristen! I don’t know you but promise I like you just as much with or without an MFA. Tara Mohr is an author (I want to call her a hidden gem guru, but I don’t think she’d identify as being a guru) writes that women - more than men - frequently think we need “one more thing” or to do “this before that” before we get down to the business of owning our brilliance (I’ve paraphrased and added hyperbole). I think she’s on to something. (Her book is Playing Big, if you’re interested). She also writes a lot about how often it’s not that it’s not always “insiders” who provide a breakthrough contribution to a field. Bringing another perspective than most people can be a good thing. Huge congrats on your forthcoming releases and the residency! 💛
Kelly this is such a sweet and encouraging thing to say (well, write)--thank you! I totally agree about the female tendency to put everything/everyone else first before one's own little old creative dreams and desires. Thank you again, and I am going to look up that Mohr book!
I applied to the one residency MFA program I knew was right for me (I know, that sounds arrogant, but this was local and at this stage in life I'm not going to move cross country, and I can't afford the lo-res programs). Wow, did I have a kick ass application, with recommendation letters from published authors (one of whom is also a renowned writing teacher) and samples of work that had already won prizes. I didn't get in. Now I think that was one of those itchy, scratchy lessons-in-disguise the Universe salts into life. I was looking for a refuge, a retreat, and a pipeline of validation rather than a way forward. Anyway, it wasn't long after I'd been rejected by the MFA program and had picked myself up and resolved to move ahead that I got my contract with a dream publisher. So your piece is both encouraging and fortifying. Tough but gentle love. And may the answers you get regarding your son be the ones that you and he want to hear.
Thank you so much for sharing this. You are so right. In the days I wanted my MFA I was looking to procrastinate via school. I did it another way, ha!
Congrats on your dream publishing deal! I love hearing this.
Writing partners on Craig's List! I'm smiling.
I relate to this every word is like a sponge I'm wringing out as I read. I am in the middle of revisions, and like you, am seeing many things that don't work and cut, cut, cut. Revisions are so hard, but your words are for all of us in this trenches. I send words of healing and comfort to your son and your family. Healthcare can bring us to our knees, we leave this world and enter into another. Keep sending these posts, honestly, I see a book for you to offer these uplifting words. Blessings.
Thank you so much, Sherry!
I hope everything ends up okay with your son! That there's an end to the tunnel you are all in and his health improves.
I would love a writing partner. I have half a novel and have pieces of a series, and am stuck as to where I want to go with any of it. I've taken a self-paced novel-writing course and have the outline of an outline to plop ideas into, and participate in NaNoWriMo religiously, but my imagination and spirit of adventure in playing with plot twists, etc. has suffered a bit. So if a writing partner is game to work with me, that may be the ticket to making headway...with some accountability.
Amazing!! What is your genre?
fantasy
I have the same dream of an MFA, sitting around writing and talking about books! I never applied, so you came closer than me!
I love that it was your people that you needed all those years. I know I would have stopped writing a long time ago without my writing friends.
I feel so lucky that I found them at all!
For me this is definitely an area that's been lacking -- needing "writing partners" who aren't my friends in real life that like to read or sometimes write things. My friends "get it," but they also *don't* get it.
I spent a week with new-to-me writer friends at a residency last August and thought "huzzah! this is it!" and then it's been like pulling teeth trying to get anyone to... stay in touch, let alone share the ins and outs of the work and process with, since we all ventured back to our respective homes.
I keep looking, trusting, keeping my eyes and ears open... and doing the work (or sometimes avoiding doing the work) in the meantime.
I've been there, totally get it! What is your genre?
Thanks! I write upmarket women's fiction.
Kristine, the writer/musician Nerissa Nields offers several workshops, as well as a co-writing sessions she calls "Morning Seeding and Tending"--it's an hour of quiet co-writing over Zoom. I've taken several of her workshops and have found ongoing writing pals through them. Her site is https://nerissanields.com/product-category/events/workshops/
Thank you so much! I appreciate the info!
Kristine, a beloved writing teacher once called the process of finding our people “ knocking on doors.” I’ve knocked on quite a few! What I’ve learned is that I’m absolutely the worst judge of who will end up being ‘my people’ in a given group.
Your mileage may vary, but I’ve really enjoyed the weekday Zoom co-writing sessions organized by Allison K Williams of Craft Talks. Fourth link under co-writing. Many of the members write memoir but I’m revising a novel. Weekdays at 11:30am. https://linktr.ee/guerillamemoir
Thank you Kelly! I appreciate you letting me know about these co-writing sessions!
I recently parted ways with my writing partner. Nothing happened but it was just clear that she would rather collaborate with other people and I didn’t want to have to keep asking her to read things or write. This was awesome to read. There are always more people out there and never where you might expect.